Gracious Pain
by KaizokuGari20
Summary: After Zoro sacrifices himself for Luffy and the crew in Thriller Bark, he is relaxing aboard the sunny when he has an emotional conversation with Robin. Some fluff. Some language. First written story in a while, so please review and let me know how I can improve! Zoro/Robin


**Gracious Pain**

_Baka._

Four days had passed since the Strawhat Crew left the bizarre island of Thriller Bark. It was a beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky, and Zoro was lying half asleep on the Thousand Sunny's deck under the shade of the mast. In the swordsman's opinion, the day had been rather dull. Unable to train, Zoro was stuck watching his captain, Luffy, fall for another one of Usopp's bold faced lies. It had something to do with conquering an island of giants or some other nonsense. It makes no difference really. He had learned a long time ago not to believe anything that comes out of that long-nose's mouth.

Zoro quickly lost interest in those idiots' conversation and turned his attention to the other members of the crew, trying to find something that was at least more interesting than sleeping.

His thoughts first went to the ship's doctor, Chopper, who was inside the ship, mixing up some new medicine, and was the primary reason Zoro's days on the ship had been so uneventful. Every time he wanted to train, Chopper would simply deny him access to the weight facility. It was irksome, but necessary, in order to get back to full strength. Zoro had also noticed that Chopper was increasingly more focused on finding new ways to heal the crew since Thriller Bark. It made perfect sense. They all pretty much got annihilated by that Kuma -bastard. Just trying to move in the bandages that covered the majority of his body reminded him of his ordeal.

_These bandages are such a goddamn pain, but Chopper knows what he's talking about. I just hope he doesn't push himself too far._

Since trying to coax Chopper into letting him train was out of the question, his thoughts then moved on to the navigator, Nami, who was upstairs working on her map of the world. She always drew the layout of the last island onto her world map project just after setting sail, and although it seemed arbitrary at times, he knew how much that map meant to her. Of course, that can't be the only thing she was concocting. Zoro dreaded to think of the blackmailing schemes that witch would come up with next, and decided starting any conversation with her would be foolish at best. Especially since he hadn't paid off his last debt to that hag.

_How the hell am I going to get 300,000 Berries for that bitch? It's absurd that she still holds that goddamn grudge against me for not paying that ridiculous 300% interest. Witch…_

After calming himself down, Zoro's attention moved to Franky, the shipwright and resident cyborg, who was downstairs in the cola room. He was probably trying to create a new weapon or restock some supplies after those idiot zombies took the majority of their stuff. (_Thank god the crew had gotten some treasure before they left, or that orange haired witch would have been furious_) Zoro thought it best to leave him alone, since he most likely would only interfere with Franky's tinkering.

_I wonder what kind of weird-ass machine that perverted robo is making now. . ._

His stomach rumbling a little bit, Zoro thought about going to get something to eat. Upon further review, he decided against it. That shitty love-cook was in the kitchen, like always. Just thinking about that dumbass made his blood boil. Sanji was probably finding way to prepare the worst food _ever _for Zoro, but even _he_ had to admit that the ero-cook's worst food was better than most restaurants in the Grand Line. Of course, he would much rather deal without the gigantic pain in the ass that shitty-eyebrow was.

_That black-suited son-of-a-bitch. One of these days, I'm gonna kick his shitty ass for all of his goddamn insults. "Marimo" my ass._

The crew's musician, Brooke, was up there with Sanji, serenading that dartboard-brow so that the task of washing dishes would go by faster. Though originally hesitant to accept him, Zoro had welcomed Brooke as a full-fledged member of the crew. He had fought for the Strawhats against Moria, and he had earned enough respect from Zoro by both being a swordsman and a friend of Laboon. In some ways, Zoro felt like he could relate to the singing skeleton through the bond of a promise to a loved one.

_I never thought I'd say this, but that skeleton really has had a positive effect on the crew. Maybe I should ask him more about his fighting style? Maybe later. . . ._

All of this thinking was making Zoro tired again. The pain he received from his ordeal with Kuma had really limited his capabilities more than he previously thought. He was definitely glad to be back on board, comforted by the daily routines of the Strawhat crew. As sunlight shifted to sunset, Zoro put his arms behind his head as the noises and activities of his nakama lulled him back to sleep in the cool shade of the mast. But before he could drift off to his seemingly eternal state of hibernation, Zoro began to feel like he had forgotten someone. He thought back over his crewmates for a moment –

_Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, Nami, Franky, Sanji, Brooke, . . . where is Robin?_

How had he forgotten Robin, of all people? He slapped himself upside the head for forgetting one of his crewmates. Maybe the pain had affected his brain. _Sounds like a joke that shithead cook would make_. Even so, he wondered where she was.

_Is she outside, reading_? _No, 'cause if she was reading, she'd be sitting on one of the lawn chairs outside, like always._

Zoro sat up and double-checked, looking to his left just to make sure.

_Well if she's not reading, maybe she's –_

Zoro's thought process was interrupted by something pressing down on his right shoulder. He looked up and saw Robin starting to sit down next to him, her hand lingering softy on his bandages. Even through the thick gauze wraps, Zoro could feel the warmth of her touch, but despite her delicacy, he still winced in pain from the contact to his wounds. Robin was forced to retreat momentarily, a worried look painted on her face. He looked around for a means to cope with the excruciating throbbing, and unwittingly settled on looking at Robin herself. The most noticeable of Robin's features, at least to Zoro wasn't her long black hair, her full lips, or her magnificent body; it was her beautiful blue eyes. Only in her eyes, Zoro found a source of peace, comfort, and pity; an oasis in the midst of the other hyperactive personalities of the crew. They shared a bond of solemnity and quiet intelligence that no one else on board could fully understand. As the pain showed no signs of dying down, he thought for a moment that he should allow Robin to take pity on him for his troubles; hell he almost desired it. But he quickly erased that thought from his mind, and, on the verge of blushing, he collected himself, turned away from her face, and thought it best to retain his pride –

"_What the hell are you doing here, Robin? Shouldn't you be reading your history books or something?"_

Robin smirked at the snide comment. She expected such a remark, as she knew the swordsman would never make himself vulnerable to anyone or anything. Small talk wasn't the reason why she came to his side however.

"_I know what you did."_

Those few simple words rang in Zoro's head for what seemed like eternity. His eyes grew wide in shock as he began to recall all of the pain and suffering he had received from Kuma on behalf of Luffy and the rest of the crew. He had no intentions of discussing that decision with anyone or anything. But now, that private act was being brought up by someone else, and even _worse_, that someone was a crewmate.

"_I see."_

Zoro was unsure of where else to take the conversation, especially since Robin knew what really transpired. His objective now was to discover who else knew.

"_Does anyone else know about this?"_

Robin thought for a moment, pondering whether or not she should tell him that cook-san knows. She decided the best thing to do was to tell the truth.

"_Cook-san knows about this too. I just listened in on his conversation with some other eyewitnesses. The rest of the crew has no idea."_

Zoro cringed. That bastard curly-brow knew about it too. _I suppose I should be thankful to that asshole for not saying anything. _That was what he wanted to say. Every fiber of his being wanted to sound indignant and justified in his hatred of that fucking cook. All he could manage though, was a simple acknowledgement of their sympathy.

_"Thanks."_

Robin settled down, the worst of her fears averted. She was actually a little surprised Zoro had not berated cook-san, but she knew that he was secretly grateful for Sanji's discreet nature. The one thing she desired, however, was to find out Zoro's mindset before the ordeal. She laid back against the mast, moving closer to Zoro' right side, before asking a simple question:

_"Why did you agree to such a deal? What could've possessed you to stand in Luffy's place?"_

Zoro thought for a moment. Luffy and Usopp had already left the deck. Only he and Robin remained outside as the sun sank slowly into the ocean. He sat solemnly while he tried to piece together an appropriate answer. He felt Robin's movement towards his side, and decided it best to stay put until he knew what her intentions were. He trusted her, without a doubt, but the sensitivity of the topic caused Zoro to feel uneasy. He started in on an explanation:

"_I had failed to protect the crew in Luffy's absence. I knew that I had to atone for my incompetence. The best way to do so was to protect my captain. If he lives, the rest of the crew has a better chance of survival. If we can't count on everyone to give themselves for each others dreams, what kind of crew are we?"_

The statement resonated for a while in Robin's mind. She realized that Zoro's sacrifice meant something more important than just kindness. It represented the bond that every crewmate aboard the Thousand Sunny shared with each other – the desire to see the others' dreams come true. There was no doubt that she felt the same way of course, but something just didn't add up. She decided to pry a little deeper into the swordsman's psyche.

_"I see, then. But if what you're saying is true, and you had died after accepting all of Luffy's pain, how do you think we would have felt? You are just as important to this crew as Luffy. We all are, as I found out personally. I'm familiar with the idea of sacrificing myself in order to protect the ones that I love. How did you feel when I left the crew in Water 7?"_

Zoro quickly retorted –

_"It's not the sa-"_

_"Yes it is." _Robin immediately interjected. _"I wanted to save this crew, at the cost of my own life. I didn't feel like living anymore, after so much heartache and torture. Don't tell me you felt the same way."_

The tone with which Robin talked grew increasingly concerned and empathetic. She had turned herself toward Zoro now, placing her hand in his, which was probably the only place on his body that was left unaffected by bandages or wounds.

After she took his hand, Zoro turned back around to face her, to see those eyes again. Incredibly, he saw what seemed like the beginning of a tear. _But that's impossible, isn't it?_ This proud, strong woman, who valued her levelheaded nature just as much as Zoro, was starting to break down in front of him. Was this really the same Robin that seemed so aloof, so emotionally controlled, so unbreakable? Utterly shocked by her reaction, Zoro struggled to compose himself:

_". . . I . . . I'm sorry. I had no idea that it would affect you like this."_

Realizing that she had actually begun to shed tears, Robin quickly let go of Zoro's hand and wiped her eyes to regain her usual demeanor.

_" *ahem* I simply asked because I wanted to make sure that you aren't suicidal."_

There she was – that was the macabre personality that Zoro had grown accustomed to. He smiled and laughed off the suggestion that he was suicidal, even though it hurt like hell for him to laugh. It was the first time he had legitimately laughed since the crew had disembarked.

"_You thought I was suicidal? I'm nowhere near suicidal."_

Needless to say, Robin was more than a little insulted by kenshi-san's dismissive behavior. She pleaded with Zoro to keep the tone of the conversation as serious as possible. This was his life that he nearly threw away, after all.

_"Why are you laughing? This isn't some joke."_

Turning his face away from Robin, Zoro slowly stood up, his whole body throbbing from movement, and began to walk away from her. Each step took increasingly more effort, making him feel how costly his sacrifice had been.

_"I understand, but only I am responsible for my own life. What I do with it is my decision, and no one else's. Needless to say though, I'm thrilled I still have it."_

Disappointed by the direction the conversation had taken, Robin initially started after Zoro. She wanted to talk some sense into him. This sacrificial lamb complex had almost gotten them both killed. Tears welled up again and threatened to destroy her composure. _If only the swordsman wouldn't notice. _She finally gathered herself enough to say:

_"I don't know what I would have done if you - "_

Robin was interrupted by an unexpected act. The staunch swordsman had hugged her. He held her as tight as he could in those bandages, almost as if he was gripping onto the very fabric of life itself. Tears were shed. His tears. She hugged him back, bringing his head closer. Totally speechless, Robin just stood there trying to comfort him, but Zoro had only one thing to say.

"_Thank you for caring_."

In her embrace, Zoro felt nothing but blinding pain.

It was the best pain he had ever felt.


End file.
